The After College Slump

Man, let me tell y’all something.

 

In all honesty, these past three months have been the MOST depressing months I’ve had in recent years. This shouldn’t be the case though! I JUST GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE. Why am I depressed? Why am I feeling unmotivated? Why do I want to sleep all day and/or watch anime?

Haha, well, apparently this type of thing happens to most recent graduates (aside from the sleeping and/or watching anime all day). I graduated from The University of North Carolina at Greensboro on May 12th. Everything was fantastic! I was looking forward to the summer, finally some time off, a chance to relax. But that time off started to last way too long and next thing I know, it’s July 31st. Still unemployed. No income coming in. A/C not functioning in my car. The list goes on and on and on.

Let me tell you, thank God I have people who snapped me out of it. I was going into a downward spiral because it just seemed like things were not looking up! I didn’t think it’d be this difficult to get a job in my field (I graduated with a B.S. in Information Systems & Supply Chain Management). It seemed like every time I had an opportunity, there was something that wouldn’t allow me to have it. But listen, every time God says “No”, there’s a greater “Yes” on its way, and I just had to keep telling myself that. To keep me uplifted and prevent me from withdrawing into myself, God has placed some wonderful people in my life. I thank God for my family, my friends, my mentors, shoot even my acquaintances who I may only see once or twice.

Though I still may be unemployed, I’m finding things to do in the meantime to keep my mind busy and focused on the future.

So…tips on how to deal with your after college slump?

  1. Don’t sleep all day like me
  2. Don’t watch anime all day like me
  3. Make a schedule for yourself to do things, even if it’s just to go for a walk at a certain time every day
  4. Get up and get moving!
  5. Reach out to those who have told you “If you ever need anything, CALL ME.” Actually do it, there may be an opportunity for you to do something…
  6. Remain steadfast, trust in the Lord and continue to pray and believe that greater is coming

Things will turn around eventually fam, I believe it and you should too! Hasta luego 🙂

On-Lookers

On-lookers.

 

Think they may know us.

The labyrinth of our lives. 

None could truly know. 

 

Except God of course, He knows all. He knows things about us that we don’t even know about ourselves.

It’s just interesting to watch though how others will observe the many lives occurring around them, and then so hastily make an assumption. Then those assumptions will cause them to act in a haphazard way thinking that they are “helping” or maybe even “sabotaging” off of limited, illegitimate information. It’s actually quite hilarious. The actions of this type of person can unfortunately be detrimental if other parties involved are keen on believing anything from face value. But, what can you do if this happens?

Don’t give the on-looker power, rejoice in the truth. Don’t chase them, or try to lash out. Instantly forgive them for their actions because it’s not worth your time to get worked up over something you know is false (also, seriously get you a good chuckle, because it really is funny). Don’t try to convince them of anything, you’ll just waste your energy. Let them go on about their lives, it’ll eventually come back to them.

What about the other parties involved that may have been swayed by the actions of the on-looker? Forgive them too. Yes, it may hurt that they might not believe you. However, as long as you know who you are and what you stand for, you don’t owe anyone any type of explanation. Don’t harbor any ill feelings, because it’s really not worth it. You have precious nerves. Rejoice in the truth within yourself, and be happy.

Are you playing games with each other?

‪In my opinion: If you’re in a long distance relationship and if one or both of y’all begin to let it occur mainly through text…y’all need to do 1 of 2 things.‬
‪1. Stop playing games and make an honest effort of calling each other or planning to see each other through FT, Skype whatever if you really are committed to making it last.‬ Also, plan out when you two will actually go and see each other in person, and then actually keep your word and DO IT. (If you’re able to)

‪2. Let that mess go, because I’m convinced you two don’t really care for the relationship anymore. At this point, you’re wasting each other’s time. ‬

‪Who in their right mind would allow that to continue anyway? Continuous non-verbal communication can lead to a whole disaster the minute someone takes something the wrong way. ‬

‪Pick. Up. The. Phone. Dial their number. Press call. It’s not hard.‬

‪Oh, oh and then, if you get on the phone, don’t sit there in complete silence! Talk through the issue(s) if it/they exist(s). No, it’s not a pleasant time, it’s not supposed to be! But you’re supposed to be working through the mess to get to a pleasant time with your SO. ‬
‪People like to give up so easily lately! ‬
‪On the whole complete other hand though: if you’ve tried all of the above and things still don’t change:‬
‪👉🏾🚪‬
‪No hard feelings, split with the person, wish them the best, and KEEP IT MOVING. There’s too many people on this earth to get caught up with one who just doesn’t want to act right.‬

‪Pray this prayer to God: If he (or she) is meant for me, bring them closer to me, but God if they are not, allow us to separate from one another without any hard feelings or regret.‬

‪Disclaimer: You must be prepared for whatever God causes to happen. It could very well be a “No.”‬
‪If a man wants you, he’ll continuously show it.‬

‪If a woman wants you, she’ll continuously show it. ‬

‪There will be no second guessing, overthinking, feelings of animosity, sadness, NADA. And God will show you whether or not they’re meant for you. If you’re choosing to ignore those CLEAR AS DAY signs, shoot. I don’t know what to tell you, you’re grown, do what you want. But like Erykah Badu said, when you finally get tired, you’ll walk away. ‬

‪I just pray that you have enough strength to keep going and not give up on the chance that someone is out there waiting for you, ready to give you everything you’ve been searching for in someone and THEN some (we all know God likes to show up and show out when He blesses us!!). Someone who will love you the way your heart will know for sure it’s true. Someone who will never give up on you, despite the circumstances of life. Someone who will pray for you, just, yeah, all that. They may not come when you want them, but just have faith…‬

These type of relationships take the most amount of work to maintain. If you’re not up for the challenge, or even if you used to be but no longer are, don’t keep someone in a spot of uncertainty and confusion. Be kind, respectful and let them go. Please.

Oh and this is for my ladies: Sis, if you know he’s in town/coming to, and he doesn’t even mention or try to meet up with you, even if it’s for 5 minutes…or even if he comes to town and then leaves without your knowledge…? SIS. I’m not saying anything else ☕️


Let me get off my soapbox.

Sometimes You Just Can’t Deal

Why do we put up with things or people? I suppose it’s because we care about them a lot and don’t want to just say “whatever” and walk away. Who knows. There are just some things you absolutely cannot deal with, and you have to throw that “whatever” out and keep it moving. Why? Because, the more you stress about it, the more you’re shortchanging yourself. You’re robbing yourself of peace and happiness by allowing that stress to infiltrate your mind. 

With that being said, one thing I absolutely just cannot deal with is the fact that people have a tendency to go to everyone else but the person they need to talk to when they have a problem with that person. Why involve other people in a situation that has nothing to do with them? I get trying to get advice on various problems, but if you’re trying to figure something out, you’re most likely only going to work/figure things out with the person the issue resides with. I would like to add though, someone may not always want to work things out and you cannot force anyone to do it. If this happens, just keep it moving. Forgive if you have to so you can possible reconcile in the future. If they don’t want to work things out, keep what happened between you and whoever it involves. Be respectful!

Another thing, is how people can harbor ill-feelings with someone and don’t say anything until things reach a head. Then everyone spontaneously combusts into a mountain of (unnecessary) emotions. It could’ve been avoided. Just T A L K. 

Another thing, when you’re trying to work things out with someone, don’t yell at them. How can you have a civilized conversation with respect on both sides if you’re yelling at the other person or people? I don’t know about y’all, but that’s the kind of stuff that will make me shut down and tune out. I am no longer a part of the conversation if someone is going to yell. 

These are just some of the things I just can’t deal with. What’re some of yours? Drop them in the comments below while I drop this keyboard. 

Anca out.

Off Radar

Hey! Hope everyone’s had a fantastic weekend, hopefully you got some rest. If not, it’s okay, sneak in that 30 minute nap somewhere 😉

Today I decided to talk about going off the radar for a little bit. Why? Because it’s totally necessary and TOTALLY okay for you to do it every now and then. Society is so demanding now, it’s easy to lose yourself in all the “hustle and bustle”. I’ve been off the radar. Actually,  I’m still off the radar. How is she off the radar and she’s on here blogging about it? Mind yours.

Anyway. I’m sure we hear it all the time “it’s okay to say no,” “it’s okay to not want to go out and do anything,” etc. etc. etc. Me, myself, personally…I take full advantage of that. Sometimes you just have to do it and not feel any remorse about it. You have to take care of YOU. But, don’t sever your friendships, relationships, etc. as those require constant maintenance depending on the nature of them.

 

Well, that was my two for the day. ¡Buenas noches!

C o m m u n i c a t e

A big problem plaguing the millennial generation is…you guessed it. The ability to effectively communicate with others. I struggle with it myself sometimes.

It’s just so easy to keep to ourselves and not feel obligated to tell anyone what’s going on with us. Even in our various friendships, relationships, acquaintanceships, etc.-ships, we just don’t communicate well. Why is it this way? We have all heard that technology is the problem. We have our various devices shoved in our faces most times consistently throughout the day.

However, it’s not that we cannot effectively communicate at all, it’s the face to face communication that a lot of us struggle with. It is too easy to sit behind a screen and say whatever we need or want to say to someone. Soon as it comes to looking that person straight in their face and making that good ol’ unwavering eye contact, things begin to get awkward and tricky.

One of my friends told me that the average person cannot keep eye contact with another person for more than four seconds. Matter of fact, my friend suggested we test this out. Sure enough, as I was looking at him and the third second was approaching, I quickly looked away and started laughing! It could’ve been because the situation was forced, or because this is my best friend and he is just hilarious anyway, I don’t know. I decided to test this out with others. I mean I even struggled to look my ex straight in his face for more than four seconds when I would speak to him (and he’s a pretty fine thing to look at, sheesh. I digress). You would think I’m supposed to be able to look him in his eyes for extended periods of time!

Nope.

I digressed a lot. Anyway. Because of this inability to look each other in our eyes and take the time to sit down and actually have a meaningful, understanding conversation… a lot of assumptions and incorrect conclusions are made. Which causes unnecessary conflict.

Stop texting what you know needs to be said to someone else. Texting is meant to send quick messages, not full out discussions about the matters of life. There’s nothing like hearing someone’s voice anyway. Even better, hop on a video chat when you can to get as close as you can to combining and interpreting all verbal and non-verbal communication so you can understand better whoever you’re interacting with (and vice-versa).

There is NO RULE that says every conversation you have with someone needs to be held over text. Get away from that mindset millennials! There’s nothing wrong with calling. The worst thing someone can do is just not answer (or say they don’t feel like talking). If they tell you that, sis (or bro) keep it moving fam.

Let me get off my soapbox.

22.

Yes. Correcto. You guessed it. I am 22 years old right now. Guess what? About to be 23 in six months.

Ah yes, 22, fresh out of college…unwillingly unemployed…also broke…and single…

I could go on.

Haha, it’s not so bad being 22 and at this point in my life. Kind of just taking every day in stride, looking for all the positive things. Like me starting this website! Also, getting my Youtube channel started (check it out at the social links below), moving back in with my parents (no rent for a while ayeee). The list goes on and on and on. All that matters is that I’m happy. To God be the glory for my happiness.

With all that being said, focus on the positive things happening in your life right now. It’s too easy to get bogged down with all the negatives. Fill your day with light, choose your attitude. Also don’t forget.

Live.