Confab of Respite

Good morning everyone! I have some GREAT news!

Starting on January 23rd, Blankets of Blessings will be hosting its very first IBD Support Group called the “Confab of Respite”

Registration opens up December 28th! Space will be limited to about 10-12 people, so I highly encourage you to register ASAP, especially if you are living with an IBD condition like myself, you’re friends with someone or have someone in your family that has an IBD condition, or you’re taking care of someone with an IBD condition.

This will be a chance to not only learn more about what we experience on a daily basis, as IBD can sometimes be an invisible illness, but also a chance to learn more about how you can become a part of the “CoR” of Blankets of Blessings!

I’m looking forward to seeing new faces and seeing some familiar ones as well. God Bless and Happy Holidays!

Season of Sacrifice

For the past few weeks…No, actually, for the past few months, there’s been a resounding theme in my mind: Sacrifice.

Sacrifice is never something that we want to readily do, or ever do, though often times it is necessary to get to the next step in our goals/life. A lot of times, we sacrifice things we want to do for the sake of others, unbeknownst to them.

My Season of Sacrifice, however, was more involved, and is STILL involved, with my finances. Even though other parts of my life have been flourishing this year, my finances have been severely fluctuating, more so than I cared to admit. I found myself asking others for help with bills and such, something I never thought I’d have to do. Though half of my financial position wasn’t all my fault, I did unfortunately contribute to it. Now, with it being November 12th, 2019, I’m still fighting this uphill battle to get out of it.

“You gotta do what you gotta do, but you also gotta take care of yourself in the process. If you don’t, you won’t be able to do, what you gotta do.”

Are things turning around? Yes, of course, slowly, but surely. Do I wish it would get better faster? Absolutely. However, God knows that I won’t learn what I need to learn if everything suddenly got better tomorrow, and this is the part I’m struggling with the most.

My Season of Sacrifice looked like this:

  • Moving out of my 1st real apartment, and back in with my parents
  • Asking for some financial assistance to help pay off some bills
  • Getting a second job that ultimately kept me exhausted 100% of the time
  • Canceling my Adobe Creative Cloud Subscription & Website
  • Moving into a much, much smaller apartment

I’m sure there’s more, but these were the most prevalent events.

The two events that stood out the most and really in a sense, hurt the most, was having to cancel my Creative Cloud and getting a second job. I’m a Graphic Designer (that does a plethora of other things), and the Creative Cloud was the main thing allowing me to do this. Yes, I am aware of the copious amount of free programs out there, HOWEVER. It was convenient for me to have access to that specific software, especially since a lot of bigger companies use the same software for their businesses.

Getting a second job meant I had to sacrifice my social life. I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “oh, you pooooor thing, boo hoo.” Listen. Here’s the thing about that: I struggled with this a lot too because I am the type of person that likes to be around my friends and family as much as I can (one of my love languages is definitely Quality Time). That’s just something I need that helps with my sanity. On top of the obliteration of my social life, my health got roped into the equation because a month and a half later, I ended up in the hospital. Now, I’m not complaining. The extra money did help, so it did what it was supposed to do. However, I was entirely too exhausted and I didn’t even have time for myself.

I’m not giving up though. To offset having to quit the second job I obtained, I am currently looking into jobs I can do from home part time, as well as tutoring (more to come on the tutoring). I still need a supplemental stream of income, until my main income increases.

In closing, like I mentioned before, sacrifice is sometimes necessary. I’m grateful for the sacrifice, because in that period of time, in that time of adversity, it caused me to very carefully weigh all of my options and lean on God for even more guidance and understanding that I was lacking. Money isn’t everything, but how we spend our money, how we define it, plays a big role in how our lives will operate. In other words, don’t work yourself to death because society is out here telling you, “you gotta do what you gotta do.” While this is true, that statement needs to be expanded to: “You gotta do what you gotta do, but you also gotta take care of yourself in the process. If you don’t, you won’t be able to do, what you gotta do.”


Thoughts to Think On:

Money is a tool.

No job is worth your mental, physical and spiritual health.

Work smart, and work hard, but not too hard.

Did the Thing I Never Thought I’d Do.

You can guess. The very thing I was extremely adamant about.

Yep. I had sex. Before marriage. It happened.

img_5527

SHUN ME IF YOU WILL.

This happened last year, so yeah, I lost my virginity when I was 23.

God snatched me up real quick and said “AY. You know this is NOT you. You’re not acting like yourself…,”.

I was really debating whether or not I would share this, primarily because not too long ago, I was up here blog posting all about how “Sex is for the Birds.” Saying I was waiting until I was married and everything. And yet, I fell weak to my flesh and didn’t wait any longer. I regret not waiting because, in retrospect, I gave my body to someone undeserving (I really thought they were at the time). It happened at a time that I wasn’t really respecting myself. I was going down a dark hole, turning my back on God and doing things that were very much so out of my character. But lissen:

God snatched me up real quick and said “AY. You know this is NOT you. You’re not acting like yourself…,”.

Okay, maybe He didn’t say it quite like that, but God got my attention. With a quickness.

Once He got my attention, it may or may not have taken a few more months after that for me to actually get a hold of myself, break free of the sinful actions I was participating in, and tell the devil to get thee behind for good. I took the time I needed to take, because listen, once I got tired, I got tired.

Let me say this though: sex is not a bad thing. God just wants us to engage in this activity with someone who we’re married to that really loves us and cares about us in every way they humanly can. Though things don’t always go this way, this is the way that He intended, and for good reason.

One reason is so we don’t regret giving our bodies, our temples, the place that God Himself lives within, to people who are undeserving.

  • To people who don’t understand how special you are.
  • To people who just want to use you as a means to their end of pleasuring themselves.
  • To people who could careless about your well-being.

I could go on all night, honey. Don’t get me started (at the same time, please do).

One of the other reasons I was so hesitant to share this was because I know I have a lot of people looking up to me. Who’ve made me their role model. I felt as though I’d disappointed all of them. I couldn’t even forgive myself (I can’t ask God to forgive me, if I can’t even forgive myself).

The good news is, I’ve forgiven myself, and that’s why I’m sharing this today. I hope the people I just mentioned can forgive me too, and please understand. I’m human, and you are too. We fall weak to things, but that’s okay. As long as we recognize this, and make an honest effort to not continue to fall weak, then it’s going to be okay at the end of the day.

As a result of my previous experience and the dark hole I almost got sucked into, never to be heard from again, I vowed to myself I wouldn’t give my body to another man unless he proved to me that he was deserving of me. And not just me either: you get my family along with me. We are a special breed that’s been through a lot. We won’t just let anyone waltz into our lives and let them try to wreak havoc where they may. Those days are over!

As a wise person once said:

If you want to be in my life, you have to respect my life. To respect my life, you have to know the rules of my life.


I hope you’ve all been well! Thanks for continuing to hang with me ❤

Relationship Hiatus

This post may come as a shock to a lot of you, and quite frankly, to a lot of you…it may not.


Almost three months ago now (sheesh, time really does fly by)…I made a rather difficult and heart wrenching decision to end my relationship with my boyfriend of two years. There’s nothing to speak on about it, I made my decision for reasons that will not be disclosed and it is what it is. I say it was a difficult and heart wrenching decision because, I really do love him, and still do. However, sometimes, things just don’t work out, and that’s all there is to say about that.

I didn’t think I was going to write a blog about my decision, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to blog about it. If you’re looking for me to talk bad about him, then I’m not sorry to disappoint you; none of that will be taking place. In fact, I sincerely hope he is doing well.

Continue to live your life and impact others with your gifts, love and presence that God has blessed you with.

There comes a time when you have to part ways with some people in your life. It’s not because they’ve done anything wrong or you’ve done anything wrong. It’s because the season for you to be with that person (or those friends, etc.) has ended, and it’s time to transition into another one where you take what you’ve learned from the previous and continue to grow. Continue to live your life and impact others with your gifts, love and presence that God has blessed you with. Continue to experience and really go through life, paying attention to the little details that make life worthwhile (especially the details that make the people you love in your life, them).

So, in regards to the title of my post today, I am taking time for myself to do these things I mentioned above. I am taking a Relationship Hiatus.

I have no interest in dating anyone until I decide that I want to do so. I’m disregarding these feelings of lust and loneliness, and praying that God will continue to prepare me for the husband He has set aside for me. I have some things to work on anyway, and one of these things includes not neglecting myself along with my friends and family when I do enter into a relationship again. I’m in the process of taking this time to really focus on myself, my family and friends, and just laugh. Laugh until we cry, laugh for no reason! Uplift, and encourage them (I was doing this before, but I’m going HAM now). Travel! But also, cry with them if we need to and really become reinvested in their lives.

I almost lost myself in my previous relationship, and as a result, couldn’t be the person I was supposed to be transforming into. Since I’ve ended my relationship, I’ve been putting in overtime to work on this, and I’m happy to report that I’m seeing a change take place. My joy has literally returned and I’m one step closer to being the fierce woman I was when I went to Spain by myself two years ago. However, I’m not stopping there. Oh, no. I’m going to be the next best version of that woman I was two years ago. I know I’m going to be this because God has called me to be this and strongly desires me to come into my full potential. How do I know? Like I said…

I can already feel and see it happening. I am LIVING it.

(Besides, I figure as long as I’ve gotten married on the island of St. Croix and have had my two children before I turn 35, I’m along for the ride, haha.)

Though I make these plans for myself, God has a sense of humor. So regardless of these plans, His plan is still the Master Plan. Though you make plans for yourself, and planning is essential since, if you fail to plan you plan to fail, always put your trust and renew your faith in God, and you’ll be amazed at how things will turn around. You are FAVORED!


Much love to you all, as always. 💖 – Bianca

New Year, New Things!

Hello everyone! This is a different post for today only (or maybe it might happen in the future, I’m not sure, haha). I hope everyone’s 2019 has been off to a great start so far. If it hasn’t, I surely do pray that it gets better and remember, it’s only January!

I wanted to share with you all that I’ve decided to try some new things this year, and focus on some things I’ve been more or less neglecting.

The new things I’m getting into are: Modeling and Etsy.

Modeling?!

Yes, I’ve been told many times that I should try out modeling. After looking through numerous pictures that I’ve taken/had taken, I figured, why not? If I don’t like it, I don’t have to keep doing it, right? Besides, I’m still trying to figure out the things I like and don’t like doing, so why not give it a shot. It’ll make for an interesting story later in life, haha.

Etsy!

Yes! I’ve opened up an Etsy shop. I’m finally allowing myself to just create and share my random art pieces that I design with you all (also I’m having a hard time paying off these medical bills from last year. Yay Crohn’s check-ups!) The pricing on my Etsy site is considerably lower than the prices on my website. This is because the items being sold in my Etsy shop are more simple and pre-made, rather than custom designed. When you get a chance, I’d appreciate it if you dropped by to see what I have so far! The inventory is of course limited, since I just opened it three days ago, haha.

If you want to know what other services I provide, also check out the Services tab on my website.

Link to my Etsy


So, what else am I going to be focusing on this year?:

Music/Art, Exercise, Health/Weight Gain/Diet, Sleep…and most importantly, ME!

I didn’t neglect myself as much as I did in 2017, but I still have some work to do. 2018 was still kind of rough, but I made it! I’m going to keep making it. In order to do that, I have to focus on me, what my body is telling me, and so on. I also have to do what makes me happy and fills me with joy, hence the Music/Art bit. I have to make sure I keep my Crohn’s in check, and if I’m not taking care of myself, I can’t be there for myself nor others. So this is my plan. I’m giving it to God, praying for strength and determination. Also praying to get rid of this procrastination and laziness…lol.

There was a podcast I created at the end of 2018 (probably the only “podcast” I’ll create), but I really felt God moving in my spirit and telling me to just stop worrying about things and to trust Him. I thought I was doing that last year, but, SIKE, apparently not. Anyway, I feel and believe great things are going to happen this year. Not only for myself, but for you too. You have to believe that for yourself as well!

If you want to listen to the podcast, 20 minutes in total, I have linked it here.

Thank you all as always for reading, laughing, feeling, loving and crying with me! Here’s to a great year for all of us! God Bless!❤️

2018: The Finale

This morning was absolutely bananas. Not the good kind. I’m talking about rotten bananas. Yes.

This morning, I had absolutely one of the WORST panic attacks to this day that I’ve ever experienced. It was debilitating. I honestly thought I was about to leave this Earth. I have never been so scared in my life.

To start the morning off, I didn’t really sleep well, so waking up was interesting since I felt weird. Nonetheless, I got up and started my day. I sat down for a few minutes, breathed in and out slowly and then started praying because, if some craziness were to occur today, I didn’t want it to, for lack of better words, ruin the last day of 2018. So, I took some time to meditate and pray, and I felt better.

Once I got to work, got to my desk and started booting everything up for the day, I started to pack up a device we had to ship out. As I was walking down to the warehouse to drop off the package, I felt the small tinges of a panic attack trying to creep up and mess me up already this morning. As I felt my heart rate begin to increase, I told myself to just keep moving and to not draw attention to myself. I made it to the warehouse, but the package I needed to drop off, I couldn’t drop off since the warehouse was closed. They told me I needed to drop the package off at the front desk for FedEx to pickup.

Not the good kind. I’m talking about rotten bananas.

My heart rate still increasing, and as I’m trying to control and focus on my breathing, I make my way to the front desk reception area. Once I opened the door to the front desk area, everything just went awry. Focusing on my breathing worked to no avail. My heart rate now racing exceedingly fast as if Danica Patrick herself was driving it, I threw the package down that I was carrying into one of the waiting area chairs for visitors, flew open the front door and ran outside to the parking lot in the rain. Weakness was taking over my body, yet I still found myself running around the parking lot like a weirdo trying to ward off this panic attack and tell myself that I’m okay.

At this point the rain was steadily increasing, but I didn’t care as it was cooling down my body’s momentarily increased temperature. I pulled out my phone and called my mother since at some point, my vision became a little blurry and I thought I was going to pass out right in the middle of the wet parking lot. Still, though I felt extremely weak, here I was, alone, continuing to run around the parking lot of my work place. Though my 95% of my body was weak, there was an odd strength in my legs. I kid you not, I felt like someone was holding me up and refused to let me fall.  

As I was talking to my mother on the phone, I was saying to her in a panicked breath, “Gosh, Mom, I know I’m okay because I’m out here, moving around and talking to you. Clearly, I’m fine! But this is the craziest thing, I can’t believe this is happening right now. This would happen on the last day of the year,” as I tried to let out a little laugh. Meanwhile as the call went on, and I’m still walking around, now in circles at this point (like a weirdo), my mom kept telling me how blessed I am, how I made it through so much this year, and that the devil is just trying his hardest to take me out and he can’t seem to do so. Though she was telling me things I already know, it’s different to hear someone else say these things to you. As if it’s an extra reminder. She kept telling me that God has me, and don’t I know it! Finally, this bizarre panic attack thankfully began to subside as I made my way back into the building, now pretty damp from the rain.

Here’s the kicker to this story, and you can’t tell me God isn’t real: Once back inside, I picked up the package I threw down and approached the lady sitting at the front desk window. I began to apologize to her if she had seen me hurriedly throw down the package I was holding and fling open the front door like a madwoman. While I was apologizing to her though, tears started just flowing nonstop. If you know me, I really don’t like crying in front of people at work (though by now it’s happened at least five times, LOL). The lady got up with a quickness, entered the lobby and began hugging me tight and praying, just like that. I had never been so grateful, and I say this because, you never know who shares the same beliefs with you wherever you go. She didn’t know that I shared the same belief in God either, but she didn’t let that stop her.

I kid you not, I felt like someone was holding me up and refused to let me fall.  

Once she finished praying, as tears still were flowing out of my eyes, she sat me down in the lobby and started talking to me some more. Wouldn’t you know it, she began to speak about things that I have not told anyone at work. Not a soul. Nobody. It’s times like that, that God reminds us that He is VERY real and that He is listening to us, watching us, keeping us and sees every tear that falls. While I’m sitting there once again amazed with God, and she’s just telling me all those things, she reinforced a lot of the things I had been praying heavily about in these past two weeks.

These past two weeks, I mean I have really been praying fervently, and it’s been out of nowhere. I believe that I have felt a shift in my life and a lot of great, wonderful and amazing things are about to take place in which glory will be brought to God’s name as He uses me.

Well this explains that powerful panic attack which I felt was about to take me out, doesn’t it?

Ol’ dude satan basically said, “Oh naw. We can’t have that, now can we?” Well, guess what, BOY (prepare for the corniness):

“I’m living my best life! I ain’t going back and forth with you satan!”


Haha, though this actually did happen this morning, I wanted to share this story with you all as a reminder that, no matter how hard the enemy tries to strike you, as long as you remember that no weapon formed shall prosper, that you are a mighty child of God, and that GOD’S GOT YOU, that everything will be all right. Trust in Him, reignite your Faith and let’s hit the ground running for 2019.


I hope you all have a very Happy New Year! Stay safe, be responsible, pay attention to your surroundings (put that dern phone down) and make good choices if you’re going out to celebrate!!

🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇

Your Blood Pressure is Precious

Now, you may be wondering what this post is about. I advise you to continue reading. 👀

Is this health related?

  • No, not really.
  • Okay, maybe just a little bit.

What’s so precious about it?


Haha, okay enough jokes for now. In all seriousness though, your blood pressure is precious. What I mean by that is:

If there’s one thing I learned this year, in this fine year of 2018, is to NOT let other people and their craziness, problems or what have you, RAISE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE.

There were countless times during earlier parts of the year where I found myself so infuriated, that I was getting lightheaded, couldn’t hardly think straight and just wanted to punch something. I’ve never experienced anger to that caliber before and let me tell you, it’s the worst feeling ever. When you’re that angry, it’s difficult to not lash out at others who are completely uninvolved in whatever you’re dealing with. Then when you come down from that heightened sense of anger, you feel like…to put it simply, you feel like crap. Supreme doo-doo. Anger doesn’t feel great at all, and when we let others affect our moods like this, in the long run, it won’t be healthy. For more reasons than one.

When we are dealing with difficult people in difficult situations, it’s important to go within in yourself in the moment, take a moment, analyze what the problem actually is and not let the words or actions of those involved set you off. Once that blood gets boiling it’s hard to cool down. If you discover that the problem doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with you, great. Hold onto that, breathe and proceed to work with those involved to reach a resolution. If they’re not trying to cooperate, by all means, say you need to remove yourself until things calm down and then maybe try to revisit later. If they still aren’t cooperating, there’s not much you can do for them. The important thing is to not unnecessarily make their problem, your problem. However, if the problem involves you and you contributed to its creation, then work accordingly to come to a resolution. But resist letting the person, people or thing raise your blood pressure. Anger tends to make things worse (but being angry for the right reasons, helps).

Also, don’t turn to things like alcohol or other detrimental unnecessary substances that could potentially make matters worse (including your health) in an attempt to distract yourself from the situation(s) at hand.

As the year ends, just remember: Get angry for the right reasons. Being angry for the wrong reasons exacerbates things and fuels the fire (one of those fires being raised blood pressure 🌚).

❤❤❤

It’s Always Something

Here lately it seems as though a week can’t go by and something not catch on fire or just completely fall apart. 

It’s been incredibly difficult to stay optimistic and not let anger, fear, sadness and loneliness overwhelm me. Most times I find myself sitting on my bed, in complete silence, just letting tears roll down my face. I let them roll until the pain I feel inside surfaces as painful sobs and I’m laying on my side, fetal position, allowing my comforter to become soaked with tears.

I question myself all the time, why am I crying, why am I like this so often? I literally have no reason to be.

Yes, I’m getting some help for all of you wondering if I’m trying to do anything about this to help myself.

For whatever reason though, I find myself in that situation far more than I would like. It’s exhausting and it’s wearing down on me mentally, spiritually and physically. I just want things to be somewhat normal again. It’s been nothing but a vicious roller coaster for a few months now.

I want to be how I used to be, but 10 times better than that.

Also, believe me. This isn’t a pity post. Far from it. I do not want anyone to pity me, nor am I pitying myself. I’m not because I’m the one who allowed myself to get like this. It’s no one else’s fault. I’ve been trying to do things on my own and without God’s help, and this is the result of my actions. I got too big in the head and that’s when everything started spiraling out of control. But God got my attention two nights ago:

I was cooking dinner and everything was just going wrong. I was getting frustrated because it was so difficult and I didn’t know what I was doing. I don’t cook. It was taking longer than it should’ve taken and I almost burned the food. Nothing was going the way I imagined or the way I planned and at a point, I threw the knife I was holding down into the sink and yelled “I give up! I can’t do this!”

My mother heard this outburst and immediately told me, “Oh no, you can’t give up. No ma’am, you’ve got things to do. Cooking takes time, and if you don’t do it often you have to learn. If you need help, you have to ask for it.” She then proceeded to look up a video on how to correctly chop things, and showed me. Things went much smoother after that.

While I did end up burning the food a little bit on the top…everything else underneath was perfectly fine and tasted wonderful (according to my dad).

It’s funny because, even in the middle of typing this up, God is speaking to me again after recollecting that stressful night in the kitchen! (After reading that short blurb, I wonder if you can see where I’m coming from).

Once I finished up dinner, I prepared a bowl of pasta and proceeded to head to my room to watch something on Hulu. To my surprise and dismay, my Xbox would not connect to the WiFi, no matter what I did to try to fix it. My phone was also completely silent, even though I was hoping to hear from someone. So, before I let my anger consume me, I took a deep breath, leaned back on my pillow, finished eating my food and said “Alright God, you have my attention. Let’s talk.”

Before I knew it, I was in tears, asking God to forgive me for neglecting Him and not spending time with Him as much I should be. I asked Him to forgive me for focusing all my attention on someone else, and neglecting myself in the process, not taking care of my temple and not utilizing the gifts that He’s blessed me with that would without a doubt bring glory to His name. I asked for forgiveness for a lot of things. I cried and cried until I was sitting cross legged with my face down on my comforter, wet from my tears, and I had fallen asleep.

The next morning, as I was getting dressed, I looked in the mirror and I realized that I am able to see the upper part of my ribs again. Seeing this made me have some not-so-happy flashbacks (if you’ve visited the tab on my site that says “Crohnie” then you know what I’m talking about).

The point is, I’ve been focusing on the wrong things. Not spending time with God like I used to. Just thinking back, my life was much more full of joy and I was honestly and truly HAPPY. There were hard times but they were few and far between! When I stopped spending that time with God, stopping to listen to Him and talk to Him about things, things went awry. This is not to say that I’ve not been getting blessed, because I have. Without a doubt. But since I’ve stopped doing that as much, it’s as if I’ve been fighting this never ending uphill battle completely ALONE. I’m tired, I’m burnt out. I don’t want to fight alone anymore.

So, I’m working on it. Working on my relationship with God again and I’m going to keep working on it because:

I have to get stronger.

I have to get wiser.

I have to be more patient.

I have to let go of anger.

I have to let go of fear.

I have to trust God.

One of my sisters posted something online that I read the other day, and she stated:

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

Are you ready to let go and let God?

Weight Gain Struggle

Okay. So, if many of you don’t know, I have Crohn’s disease. To make a long story short, I had a major surgery back in 2011 because I was real sick and didn’t know, but God is good, so I’m okay now.

HOWEVER. Because of this Crohn’s disease, it’s a struggle for me to keep my weight up sometimes. I don’t really help the situation either because I’d rather sleep than stuff my face with food 24/7. In other words, I’m incredibly lazy for no reason, LOL.

Anyway, I went to the doctor yesterday for a follow-up from a Colonoscopy and MRI I had done at the end of December. She basically told me that I have to gain weight to where I weigh 120 lbs within six weeks (i.e. my next appointment) or else. I have until March 12th to gain….2 POUNDS. Yes, right now I currently weigh 118.4 lbs. I’m going to go beyond that though, at least to 125.

You know…I do like to eat. I honestly do. But when I have to force myself to eat…when I have to force myself to do ANYTHING…it becomes a chore. Am I alone in feeling that way? I’m the same way with reading (having to read chapters for class when I was in college was such a DRAG…), but I absolutely love to read. When I’m forced to do it, I suddenly don’t want to do it anymore.

But, Bianca…if you love doing it, you shouldn’t feel like you’re being forced…

Yeah, I don’t know either.

SO. Every week, I shall be weighing myself. I really don’t want to know what this “or else” is… Everyday I shall be inhaling food akin to my pink and chubby inspiration, Patrick:

patrick

 

I’m going to be able to fill my clothes out again, y’all. It’s not like I’m walking around with stuff hanging on me, but I used to weigh 140 lbs three years ago.

I don’t want to attribute all my weight loss to this Crohn’s disease though. There were a lot of other factors, college was getting real, I started having panic attacks and yeah it was just a lot going on.

I’m going to do my best to not view this as a chore, but as a means to being a lot healthier and more energetic all together! I probably should be exercising more too…one thing at a time, girl. One thing at a time.

Pray for me, haha.