AncaLogy Update!

Hey everyone! Hope you’re staying warm on this super chilly day today! (However, if you’re in a warmer region right now…I envy you. Not really. Okay, maybe a tiny bit).

๐ŸŒš ANYWAY.

I wanted to let you all know that I’ve decided to leave the Etsy platform, and will now be selling any merchandise, product, etc. DIRECTLY from this website now. EXCITING, I KNOW.

Head on over to the new Shop tab! There’s already a few pieces of merch you can purchase that will directly benefit Blankets of Blessings. Other products from AncaLogy will be added at a later date.

I hope you enjoy the new changes, there are more to come! God Bless!

2020 – A New Direction

Hello everyone, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to starting the new year and decade off with big dreams and goals!

Speaking of big dreams and goals, Blankets of Blessings will be headed in a new direction for 2020 and beyond. In preparation for this, custom orders for blankets will no longer be accepted. I am also excited to share that AncaLogy and Blankets of Blessings will also be leaving the Etsy platform and migrating any remaining products to this site! Blankets that are made in the future will be donated to efforts that are focused on improving and enriching the lives of the people in their surrounding communities. More information on this is soon to come. If you’ve already placed a custom order before this announcement, your order will be fulfilled by January 10th, 2020. 

While I’m still absolutely working on incorporating Blankets of Blessings as a Nonprofit, I realized that I may have haphazardly started this project. As a result, I am taking a step back and revamping to learn more about various resources that I can utilize to have my project finally come into fruition. This will look like: partnering/volunteering with other Nonprofits that have already been operating, so that I can get a first hand look at how things should be done. It is vital to have a solid foundation when embarking on something like this, and I want to ensure that I am prepared.

On occasion, it is necessary to press pause and/or start over. There’s nothing wrong with starting over (and getting help), especially if it means you’ll be more successful the next time around. The most important thing is to not give up, even more so when you’re passionate about what you’re planning.

Be encouraged, be blessed and don’t stress!

Also, don’t forget, registration for the Confab of Respite opens tomorrow on the site. Looking forward to new connections!

Confab of Respite

Good morning everyone! I have some GREAT news!

Starting on January 23rd, Blankets of Blessings will be hosting its very first IBD Support Group called the โ€œConfab of Respiteโ€

Registration opens up December 28th! Space will be limited to about 10-12 people, so I highly encourage you to register ASAP, especially if you are living with an IBD condition like myself, youโ€™re friends with someone or have someone in your family that has an IBD condition, or youโ€™re taking care of someone with an IBD condition.

This will be a chance to not only learn more about what we experience on a daily basis, as IBD can sometimes be an invisible illness, but also a chance to learn more about how you can become a part of the โ€œCoRโ€ of Blankets of Blessings!

Iโ€™m looking forward to seeing new faces and seeing some familiar ones as well. God Bless and Happy Holidays!

Let’s Talk: Fiscal Responsibility

I want to start this post off with a definition today:

House Poor – Being able to pay rent, mortgage, bill payments, etc., but unable to purchase basic necessities such as groceries, fuel, clothing, etc. and/or live a happy life due to financial strife.


As we begin making preparations to head into the new, grand year of 2020 (a whole new decade!), I wanted to take some time to impart the knowledge that I acquired this year regarding Fiscal Responsibility. I’m doing this because I want those around me that I have the ability to impact, to financially start their year off right. If I can help it, I would like to prevent anyone from dealing with what I dealt with this year.

Many of you already know that I struggled a lot with my finances this year.

A lot.

However, in the midst of a struggle, you learn, you change and most importantly you (hopefully) grow.

If you’re still reading, there’s a few steps I want you to take as soon as you can. No, actually, do it now. Enough fooling around.

Step One – Control Yourself: Open up an INTEREST BEARING SAVINGS ACCOUNT at ANOTHER BANK (preferably a credit union). Do NOT by any means, order a debit card for this account. If you get one by default, hide it from yourself, cut it up, give it to someone you trust, but you better not use it unless it’s for emergencies.

Step Two – Automate EVERYTHING: This part is really important. Take 7% of your paycheck (or whatever you can afford to do), and set up AUTOMATIC TRANSFERS TO THIS SAVINGS ACCOUNT AT THE OTHER BANK. Set it up for every time that you get paid, whether it be weekly, bi-weekly or monthly.

Why? When you are moving money automatically from one bank to another, it’s in process for 3-4 days. It’s up in the ether, and you can’t touch it. Therefore you can’t spend it. Once it arrives at the other bank, it’ll take the same amount of time to transfer it back, once again inhibiting you from unnecessarily spending that money you’re supposed to be saving.

Also, the way my bank is set up, there’s a $3 transfer fee to an external account for the 3-4 day transfer. I never notice those missing $3 dollars. If I’m feeling spicy, I can immediately transfer the funds the same or next day for $25, but ain’t nobody got time for all that.

I would also suggest that if you can, set up auto pay on bills that are easily manageable. Sometimes you get a discount for doing so!

Step Three – Tame your Money: Download these Monthly Budgeting and Bill Tracking Excel Spreadsheets from my Google Drive.

Budgeting has a bad rap. Budgeting is not something that’s supposed to give you restrictions, it’s something that’s supposed to liberate you and make you aware of how you’re utilizing your income. We use budgeting sheets to see where our money is going and to tell our money where to go. It helps us identify if we’re spending money on things that we don’t need and can do without. When you’re filling out the sheet, make sure that you…LIST EVERYTHING YOU SPEND MONEY ON. Including all your lil’ subscriptions to Disney+, Hulu, Netflix, Discord, Apple Music, alladat.

If you want tips on budgeting per paycheck, check out The Honest Plan on YouTube.

Once you’ve completed your monthly budget sheet, the Bill Tracking sheet will be your best friend. You’ll use this to list everything you pay a monthly bill for, see if you’re staying on top of your bill payments, observe to see if there are any fluctuations in bill amounts and overall be absolutely sure that you’re paying things on time (especially when the collectors attempt to call you and tell you that you’re behind).

Not only do these two tools give you peace of mind, but you’ll also feel like you’re doing a lil’ sumn sumn as a money managing guru.

numbers money calculating calculation

Step Four – Side Hustlin’ (Optional): Find a side hustle you wouldn’t mind doing. If you’re good at something, you might as well get paid for it. There’s nothing wrong with a little extra income! While you’re at it…check out Blankets of Blessings ๐ŸŒš

Step Five – Trading & Investing: It would be worthwhile to hop onto YouTube and watch some videos on Trading vs. Investing. It’s never too late to start, and besides, if it goes well, it’s something you can set aside and “forget about” while your money grows. I’ve recently started using the Robinhood and Stash apps. If you’re interested in Robinhood, use my link here to get a free stock! Disclaimer: You should already know this is not a quick way to increase your income (unless you get the blessing of a lifetime and have an incredibly successful day trade).

Step Six – The Snowball Effect: I’m sure many of you have heard of this. …No? Okay, my bad for the assumption. Allow me to enlighten you: The Snowball Effect is something that one of my mentors shared with me, and it involves paying off looming bills. Essentially, all you are doing is paying off the small bills first so that you can launch a full, head on attack on the larger bills and aggressively pay those down. It’s effective, it works, do it.

Step Seven – “It is Finished.”: God rested on the seventh day, so we shall rest on the seventh step. Put this cycle in motion and you’ll be taking your first steps on your path to Fiscal Responsibility.

Matthew 25:14-28ย 

These things I mentioned above will take time to get going, and this blog post is not the end all to education about Fiscal Responsibility. This is just what I’ve learned from my experiences and those around me. You have to ask questions, you have to be attentive to what’s going on with your wallet. It’s up to you to take control, and use money as the tool it was intended to be used as. I do care to mention that, be careful you don’t become obsessed with money. Money isn’t everything, but how we use it determines how we live our lives.

Here are a few things to take away from today:

  • Wherever you put your value, that’s where your money is going.
  • Don’t go after things that have no eternal value.
  • You cannot serve both God and money. – Matthew 6:24
  • Figure out what your definition of money is – this will help you determine if you’re using money as a tool or a toy.
  • Don’t forget to pay your tithes.

 

Happy Holidays! ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ’–

 

Season of Sacrifice

For the past few weeks…No, actually, for the past few months, there’s been a resounding theme in my mind: Sacrifice.

Sacrifice is never something that we want to readily do, or ever do, though often times it is necessary to get to the next step in our goals/life. A lot of times, we sacrifice things we want to do for the sake of others, unbeknownst to them.

My Season of Sacrifice, however, was more involved, and is STILL involved, with my finances. Even though other parts of my life have been flourishing this year, my finances have been severely fluctuating, more so than I cared to admit. I found myself asking others for help with bills and such, something I never thought I’d have to do. Though half of my financial position wasn’t all my fault, I did unfortunately contribute to it. Now, with it being November 12th, 2019, I’m still fighting this uphill battle to get out of it.

“You gotta do what you gotta do, but you also gotta take care of yourself in the process. If you don’t, you won’t be able to do, what you gotta do.”

Are things turning around? Yes, of course, slowly, but surely. Do I wish it would get better faster? Absolutely. However, God knows that I won’t learn what I need to learn if everything suddenly got better tomorrow, and this is the part I’m struggling with the most.

My Season of Sacrifice looked like this:

  • Moving out of my 1st real apartment, and back in with my parents
  • Asking for some financial assistance to help pay off some bills
  • Getting a second job that ultimately kept me exhausted 100% of the time
  • Canceling my Adobe Creative Cloud Subscription & Website
  • Moving into a much, much smaller apartment

I’m sure there’s more, but these were the most prevalent events.

The two events that stood out the most and really in a sense, hurt the most, was having to cancel my Creative Cloud and getting a second job. I’m a Graphic Designer (that does a plethora of other things), and the Creative Cloud was the main thing allowing me to do this. Yes, I am aware of the copious amount of free programs out there, HOWEVER. It was convenient for me to have access to that specific software, especially since a lot of bigger companies use the same software for their businesses.

Getting a second job meant I had to sacrifice my social life. I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “oh, you pooooor thing, boo hoo.” Listen. Here’s the thing about that: I struggled with this a lot too because I am the type of person that likes to be around my friends and family as much as I can (one of my love languages is definitely Quality Time). That’s just something I need that helps with my sanity. On top of the obliteration of my social life, my health got roped into the equation because a month and a half later, I ended up in the hospital. Now, I’m not complaining. The extra money did help, so it did what it was supposed to do. However, I was entirely too exhausted and I didn’t even have time for myself.

I’m not giving up though. To offset having to quit the second job I obtained, I am currently looking into jobs I can do from home part time, as well as tutoring (more to come on the tutoring). I still need a supplemental stream of income, until my main income increases.

In closing, like I mentioned before, sacrifice is sometimes necessary. I’m grateful for the sacrifice, because in that period of time, in that time of adversity, it caused me to very carefully weigh all of my options and lean on God for even more guidance and understanding that I was lacking. Money isn’t everything, but how we spend our money, how we define it, plays a big role in how our lives will operate. In other words, don’t work yourself to death because society is out here telling you, “you gotta do what you gotta do.” While this is true, that statement needs to be expanded to: “You gotta do what you gotta do, but you also gotta take care of yourself in the process. If you don’t, you won’t be able to do, what you gotta do.”


Thoughts to Think On:

Money is a tool.

No job is worth your mental, physical and spiritual health.

Work smart, and work hard, but not too hard.

Did the Thing I Never Thought I’d Do.

You can guess. The very thing I was extremely adamant about.

Yep. I had sex. Before marriage. It happened.

img_5527

SHUN ME IF YOU WILL.

This happened last year, so yeah, I lost my virginity when I was 23.

God snatched me up real quick and said “AY. You know this is NOT you. You’re not acting like yourself…,”.

I was really debating whether or not I would share this, primarily because not too long ago, I was up here blog posting all about how “Sex is for the Birds.” Saying I was waiting until I was married and everything. And yet, I fell weak to my flesh and didn’t wait any longer. I regret not waiting because, in retrospect, I gave my body to someone undeserving (I really thought they were at the time). It happened at a time that I wasn’t really respecting myself. I was going down a dark hole, turning my back on God and doing things that were very much so out of my character. But lissen:

God snatched me up real quick and said “AY. You know this is NOT you. You’re not acting like yourself…,”.

Okay, maybe He didn’t say it quite like that, but God got my attention. With a quickness.

Once He got my attention, it may or may not have taken a few more months after that for me to actually get a hold of myself, break free of the sinful actions I was participating in, and tell the devil to get thee behind for good. I took the time I needed to take, because listen, once I got tired, I got tired.

Let me say this though: sex is not a bad thing. God just wants us to engage in this activity with someone who we’re married to that really loves us and cares about us in every way they humanly can. Though things don’t always go this way, this is the way that He intended, and for good reason.

One reason is so we don’t regret giving our bodies, our temples, the place that God Himself lives within, to people who are undeserving.

  • To people who don’t understand how special you are.
  • To people who just want to use you as a means to their end of pleasuring themselves.
  • To people who could careless about your well-being.

I could go on all night, honey. Don’t get me started (at the same time, please do).

One of the other reasons I was so hesitant to share this was because I know I have a lot of people looking up to me. Who’ve made me their role model. I felt as though I’d disappointed all of them. I couldn’t even forgive myself (I can’t ask God to forgive me, if I can’t even forgive myself).

The good news is, I’ve forgiven myself, and that’s why I’m sharing this today. I hope the people I just mentioned can forgive me too, and please understand. I’m human, and you are too. We fall weak to things, but that’s okay. As long as we recognize this, and make an honest effort to not continue to fall weak, then it’s going to be okay at the end of the day.

As a result of my previous experience and the dark hole I almost got sucked into, never to be heard from again, I vowed to myself I wouldn’t give my body to another man unless he proved to me that he was deserving of me. And not just me either: you get my family along with me. We are a special breed that’s been through a lot. We won’t just let anyone waltz into our lives and let them try to wreak havoc where they may. Those days are over!

As a wise person once said:

If you want to be in my life, you have to respect my life. To respect my life, you have to know the rules of my life.


I hope you’ve all been well! Thanks for continuing to hang with me โค

Relationship Hiatus

This post may come as a shock to a lot of you, and quite frankly, to a lot of you…it may not.


Almost three months ago now (sheesh, time really does fly by)…I made a rather difficult and heart wrenching decision to end my relationship with my boyfriend of two years. There’s nothing to speak on about it, I made my decision for reasons that will not be disclosed and it is what it is. I say it was a difficult and heart wrenching decision because, I really do love him, and still do. However, sometimes, things just don’t work out, and that’s all there is to say about that.

I didn’t think I was going to write a blog about my decision, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to blog about it. If you’re looking for me to talk bad about him, then I’m not sorry to disappoint you; none of that will be taking place. In fact, I sincerely hope he is doing well.

Continue to live your life and impact others with your gifts, love and presence that God has blessed you with.

There comes a time when you have to part ways with some people in your life. It’s not because they’ve done anything wrong or you’ve done anything wrong. It’s because the season for you to be with that person (or those friends, etc.) has ended, and it’s time to transition into another one where you take what you’ve learned from the previous and continue to grow. Continue to live your life and impact others with your gifts, love and presence that God has blessed you with. Continue to experience and really go through life, paying attention to the little details that make life worthwhile (especially the details that make the people you love in your life, them).

So, in regards to the title of my post today, I am taking time for myself to do these things I mentioned above. I am taking a Relationship Hiatus.

I have no interest in dating anyone until I decide that I want to do so. I’m disregarding these feelings of lust and loneliness, and praying that God will continue to prepare me for the husband He has set aside for me. I have some things to work on anyway, and one of these things includes not neglecting myself along with my friends and family when I do enter into a relationship again. I’m in the process of taking this time to really focus on myself, my family and friends, and just laugh. Laugh until we cry, laugh for no reason! Uplift, and encourage them (I was doing this before, but I’m going HAM now). Travel! But also, cry with them if we need to and really become reinvested in their lives.

I almost lost myself in my previous relationship, and as a result, couldn’t be the person I was supposed to be transforming into. Since I’ve ended my relationship, I’ve been putting in overtime to work on this, and I’m happy to report that I’m seeing a change take place. My joy has literally returned and I’m one step closer to being the fierce woman I was when I went to Spain by myself two years ago. However, I’m not stopping there. Oh, no. I’m going to be the next best version of that woman I was two years ago. I know I’m going to be this because God has called me to be this and strongly desires me to come into my full potential. How do I know? Like I said…

I can already feel and see it happening. I am LIVING it.

(Besides, I figure as long as I’ve gotten married on the island of St. Croix and have had my two children before I turn 35, I’m along for the ride, haha.)

Though I make these plans for myself, God has a sense of humor. So regardless of these plans, His plan is still the Master Plan. Though you make plans for yourself, and planning is essential since, if you fail to plan you plan to fail, always put your trust and renew your faith in God, and you’ll be amazed at how things will turn around. You are FAVORED!


Much love to you all, as always. ๐Ÿ’–ย – Bianca

New Year, New Things!

Hello everyone! This is a different post for today only (or maybe it might happen in the future, I’m not sure, haha). I hope everyone’s 2019 has been off to a great start so far. If it hasn’t, I surely do pray that it gets better and remember, it’s only January!

I wanted to share with you all that I’ve decided to try some new things this year, and focus on some things I’ve been more or less neglecting.

The new things I’m getting into are: Modeling and Etsy.

Modeling?!

Yes, I’ve been told many times that I should try out modeling. After looking through numerous pictures that I’ve taken/had taken, I figured, why not? If I don’t like it, I don’t have to keep doing it, right? Besides, I’m still trying to figure out the things I like and don’t like doing, so why not give it a shot. It’ll make for an interesting story later in life, haha.

Etsy!

Yes! I’ve opened up an Etsy shop. I’m finally allowing myself to just create and share my random art pieces that I design with you all (also I’m having a hard time paying off these medical bills from last year. Yay Crohn’s check-ups!) The pricing on my Etsy site is considerably lower than the prices on my website. This is because the items being sold in my Etsy shop are more simple and pre-made, rather than custom designed. When you get a chance, I’d appreciate it if you dropped by to see what I have so far! The inventory is of course limited, since I just opened it three days ago, haha.

If you want to know what other services I provide, also check out the Services tab on my website.

Link to my Etsy


So, what else am I going to be focusing on this year?:

Music/Art, Exercise, Health/Weight Gain/Diet, Sleep…and most importantly, ME!

I didn’t neglect myself as much as I did in 2017, but I still have some work to do. 2018 was still kind of rough, but I made it! I’m going to keep making it. In order to do that, I have to focus on me, what my body is telling me, and so on. I also have to do what makes me happy and fills me with joy, hence the Music/Art bit. I have to make sure I keep my Crohn’s in check, and if I’m not taking care of myself, I can’t be there for myself nor others. So this is my plan. I’m giving it to God, praying for strength and determination. Also praying to get rid of this procrastination and laziness…lol.

There was a podcast I created at the end of 2018 (probably the only “podcast” I’ll create), but I really felt God moving in my spirit and telling me to just stop worrying about things and to trust Him. I thought I was doing that last year, but, SIKE, apparently not. Anyway, I feel and believe great things are going to happen this year. Not only for myself, but for you too. You have to believe that for yourself as well!

If you want to listen to the podcast, 20 minutes in total, I have linked it here.

Thank you all as always for reading, laughing, feeling, loving and crying with me! Here’s to a great year for all of us! God Bless!โค๏ธ

2018: The Finale

This morning was absolutely bananas. Not the good kind. I’m talking about rotten bananas. Yes.

This morning, I had absolutely one of the WORST panic attacks to this day that I’ve ever experienced. It was debilitating. I honestly thought I was about to leave this Earth. I have never been so scared in my life.

To start the morning off, I didn’t really sleep well, so waking up was interesting since I felt weird. Nonetheless, I got up and started my day. I sat down for a few minutes, breathed in and out slowly and then started praying because, if some craziness were to occur today, I didn’t want it to, for lack of better words, ruin the last day of 2018. So, I took some time to meditate and pray, and I felt better.

Once I got to work, got to my desk and started booting everything up for the day, I started to pack up a device we had to ship out. As I was walking down to the warehouse to drop off the package, I felt the small tinges of a panic attack trying to creep up and mess me up already this morning. As I felt my heart rate begin to increase, I told myself to just keep moving and to not draw attention to myself. I made it to the warehouse, but the package I needed to drop off, I couldn’t drop off since the warehouse was closed. They told me I needed to drop the package off at the front desk for FedEx to pickup.

Not the good kind. I’m talking about rotten bananas.

My heart rate still increasing, and as I’m trying to control and focus on my breathing, I make my way to the front desk reception area. Once I opened the door to the front desk area, everything just went awry. Focusing on my breathing worked to no avail. My heart rate now racing exceedingly fast as if Danica Patrick herself was driving it, I threw the package down that I was carrying into one of the waiting area chairs for visitors, flew open the front door and ran outside to the parking lot in the rain. Weakness was taking over my body, yet I still found myself running around the parking lot like a weirdo trying to ward off this panic attack and tell myself that I’m okay.

At this point the rain was steadily increasing, but I didn’t care as it was cooling down my body’s momentarily increased temperature. I pulled out my phone and called my mother since at some point, my vision became a little blurry and I thought I was going to pass out right in the middle of the wet parking lot. Still, though I felt extremely weak, here I was, alone, continuing to run around the parking lot of my work place. Though my 95% of my body was weak, there was an odd strength in my legs. I kid you not, I felt like someone was holding me up and refused to let me fall.  

As I was talking to my mother on the phone, I was saying to her in a panicked breath, “Gosh, Mom, I know I’m okay because I’m out here, moving around and talking to you. Clearly, I’m fine! But this is the craziest thing, I can’t believe this is happening right now. This would happen on the last day of the year,” as I tried to let out a little laugh. Meanwhile as the call went on, and I’m still walking around, now in circles at this point (like a weirdo), my mom kept telling me how blessed I am, how I made it through so much this year, and that the devil is just trying his hardest to take me out and he can’t seem to do so. Though she was telling me things I already know, it’s different to hear someone else say these things to you. As if it’s an extra reminder. She kept telling me that God has me, and don’t I know it! Finally, this bizarre panic attack thankfully began to subside as I made my way back into the building, now pretty damp from the rain.

Here’s the kicker to this story, and you can’t tell me God isn’t real: Once back inside, I picked up the package I threw down and approached the lady sitting at the front desk window. I began to apologize to her if she had seen me hurriedly throw down the package I was holding and fling open the front door like a madwoman. While I was apologizing to her though, tears started just flowing nonstop. If you know me, I really don’t like crying in front of people at work (though by now it’s happened at least five times, LOL). The lady got up with a quickness, entered the lobby and began hugging me tight and praying, just like that. I had never been so grateful, and I say this because, you never know who shares the same beliefs with you wherever you go. She didn’t know that I shared the same belief in God either, but she didn’t let that stop her.

I kid you not, I felt like someone was holding me up and refused to let me fall.  

Once she finished praying, as tears still were flowing out of my eyes, she sat me down in the lobby and started talking to me some more. Wouldn’t you know it, she began to speak about things that I have not told anyone at work. Not a soul. Nobody. It’s times like that, that God reminds us that He is VERY real and that He is listening to us, watching us, keeping us and sees every tear that falls. While I’m sitting there once again amazed with God, and she’s just telling me all those things, she reinforced a lot of the things I had been praying heavily about in these past two weeks.

These past two weeks, I mean I have really been praying fervently, and it’s been out of nowhere. I believe that I have felt a shift in my life and a lot of great, wonderful and amazing things are about to take place in which glory will be brought to God’s name as He uses me.

Well this explains that powerful panic attack which I felt was about to take me out, doesn’t it?

Ol’ dude satan basically said, “Oh naw. We can’t have that, now can we?” Well, guess what, BOY (prepare for the corniness):

“I’m living my best life! I ain’t going back and forth with you satan!”


Haha, though this actually did happen this morning, I wanted to share this story with you all as a reminder that, no matter how hard the enemy tries to strike you, as long as you remember that no weapon formed shall prosper, that you are a mighty child of God, and that GOD’S GOT YOU, that everything will be all right. Trust in Him, reignite your Faith and let’s hit the ground running for 2019.


I hope you all have a very Happy New Year! Stay safe, be responsible, pay attention to your surroundings (put that dern phone down) and make good choices if you’re going out to celebrate!!

๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽ†๐ŸŽ‡

What are You doing with your Life?

This is the question I asked myself as I laid in my bed last night, staring at the ceiling, fighting back tears from the day’s events.

What are you doing with your life, Bianca? Why does it seem like everyone else my age is already doing some really extraordinary things?

So if you don’t know exactly what it is you’re supposed to be doing, just start doing some things. One of the best ways to find out what you’re supposed to do, is to do a few things and you’ll find out what fits and what doesn’t.

At that moment, I had to stop myself right there. I started comparing myself to everyone else again. Never, ever compare yourself to someone else. Their journey IS NOT your journey, so there’s no way a valid comparison could ever be made.

…how many times do we tell ourselves this, yet, it continues to happen?

You know what though, that’s okay. It’ll continue to happen for a little bit, and will eventually cease, if we identify it when it’s happening and stop comparing ourselves right away. It’ll also continue to happen for a little bit, because we are human and that’s just a tendency of ours.

So don’t sweat it. As long as we are trying our best, that’s all that matters. That’s all we can do.


Yesterday could’ve been a scene out of a movie. It was pouring down rain, and cold outside. I was looking pretty goodt (if I do say so myself). Hair popping, makeup POPPING, outfit POPPING. Yet, for the reason mentioned above, and other reasons that shall not be mentioned, at the end of the work day…I found myself walking out into the rain, letting it drench me from head to toe. I was in no rush to get inside my car, drive home, and get snuggled up in my bed. This was a completely different type of sad and “what the heck am I doing with my life” feeling I’ve ever experienced. I cried twice at work yesterday, one of those times happening embarrassingly in front of my boss.

She told me the same thing I said above: “It’s okay.”

Once I got home, I dried myself off, got cleaned up and crawled into bed. I turned on my Xbox hoping to distract myself from my sadness, yet it just kept knocking on the door. Instead of trying to suppress it, because honestly, suppressing it hurt worse, I let it in and cried again. While I was crying, I started to message one of my dear friends. I told her virtually the same thing you just read, still keeping other details out, since they were personal. I told her I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, and she told me the same thing I said above: “It’s okay.”

We talked a little more, while I managed to finish eating my dinner. At some point I dozed off.

This morning I was talking to God, and basically telling Him too, that I didn’t know what I was doing, and that I would earnestly try to stop comparing myself to others, and caring what others would say about my work. I told Him it was preventing me from really sharing the gifts He blessed me with, with others. I could be helping others.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says, because no matter what I do, whatever I create, I know God will LOVE it. I also have to love it for myself too.

In closing…after I prayed, got ready for work and actually got to work, I opened up Instagram. Wouldn’t you know it, the first thing to appear on my feed was a video of Joyce Meyer, a video the First Lady at my church shared, saying this:

“I mean, I would have never thought this is what I would’ve been doing. I was a bookkeeper, I was a waitress. I was a credit manager, I was an office manager. I was a lot of things that seem to have nothing to do with being a preacher. But when the time came and God called me, I still had a long way to go, but all of those things I had done, I got experience in some way, shape or form that I’m able to use now. So if you don’t know exactly what it is you’re supposed to be doing, just start doing some things. One of the best ways to find out what you’re supposed to do, is to do a few things and you’ll find out what fits and what doesn’t. Like I tried working at the nursery at my church and it took about two weekends, and me and the kids both knew I was not a nursery worker.”

This was God responding to my prayer and saying that “It’s okay.๐Ÿ’– ” too.


Happy Holidays ๐ŸŽ„